Despair
by FrodoBaggins88
Summary: Smeagol, recently sent away from the other hobbits, suffers from guilt of killing Deagol and hurt from being rejected.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Lord of the Rings_.

**A/N:** Please R&R. This is my first strictly Gollum fic.

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**Despair**

"Why's we do it; why?" Smeagol cried aloud to himself. He coughed his wretched cough. _Gollum! Gollum!_ "We hads to; we needed to. She called uss, preciousss; we hads to obey her callses. Besidess, it's not our faultss. Deagol, rest his soul, wouldn't gives It to uss, and it was our birthday." Smeagol rolled into a fetal position and began to stroke his shoulder.  
  
"Yes, yes, She called us; She mades uss do it." He hesitated. "No! No, we didn't needs to do it. Deagol was our friend." _Gollum! Gollum!_ "No, stupid hobbit was not our friend; he wouldn't of given Her to uss, precious." Eyes glistening, Smeagol continued to stroke himself. "But he was our friend. He gave usss a present before, more than he could afford. Good friend; nice friend! Great fun!"  
  
"You pity him too much. You makes uss feel mad about ourselfss." _Gollum! Gollum!_ "Precious, let it aside. Deagol wouldn't give us the Precious. She calls us and we have no choice."  
  
"No, no! Deagol was our friend, must we say otherwise?"  
  
"He was not our friend!" Gollum declared.  
  
Weakly, motioning his hands in compliance, Smeagol replied, "Of course, of course, so sorry."  
  
"Those stubborn, stupid hobbitses sides with other hobbitses who said we were wicked and queer, involved in magic." _Gollum! Gollum!_  
  
"They hurts us, our family, they did. Sent us away on our next birthday. Says we's too much into mischief, they did."  
  
"See, precious, see?" _Gollum!_ A glint came to Gollum's eye. He had Smeagol now. "No one cares for us, preciouss. No one cares. Theys only wants the Precious."  
  
"And we must protect Her. Yes, yes, I sees," Smeagol agreed with a smile of realization forming. "We've gots to protect her. We've gots to stay way from everything."  
  
Gollum smiled evilly with success. He had fulfilled his purpose. Now he could have prevalence. No one would make Smeagol think otherwise. He would have complete dominion. "Yes, precious. Yes, indeed."

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TBC...

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Don't forget to review.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thank you to all who read this. I've received requests to continue, so here it is: chapter two.

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**Chapter 2**Gollum looked round about him as he prowled for a goblin. He was hungry. It had been a week since he had dared come out since the last time. They had sent out companies to search for the "Mysterious Prowler" who was killing off their kind one by one, and Gollum did not wish to be caught, as he would even with the Ring on. Now, the companies had given up and gone back to their frequent rough play and fighting. Gollum listened, as his eyesight was not good with the Precious on his finger. It was perfect, no more than a hundred yards or so ahead of him were a couple of goblins fighting. From the sound of it, no others were near. He could catch them both and he would be satisfied.

He quickly dodged away from the hole through which the Moon shone. He could not stand light. He ran forward and landed on one of them, knocking it down by surprise, biting its neck, and then the others, but not before it had managed to scream out for help. It was the only time the goblins would work together – only when the "Mysterious Prowler" had been about killing again. Gollum knew he had to hurry, so, he quickly decided which would be easiest to carry and took it with him. He would not eat right away, but he would get it to his tiny islet in the far edge of the cave and then come out to play tricks of talking.

Smeagol could not help but protest as soon as they reached the islet. "No, no, we can't go out; the goblinses will catch usss, and theys would kill us."

"No, precious, they wouldn't kill uss."

"Yes, yes, they would."

_Gollum! Gollum!_ It had been weeks since that puny weakling had dared voice his opinions. Why did he have to do it now and ruin all the fun? "No, they wouldn't. We'd gets away before theys could gets us."

"But theys have lots of goblinses with them. They would catch us!" Smeagol covered his eyes and trembled at the horrid thought. He did not want to die. He wanted to show those other Hobbits that he did not need them or the Shire to keep alive. "Please, let us stay. Please!"

"We's gots the Precious. She's kept us safe before; She'll do it again."

"No, no!" wailed Smeagol, his eyes filled with terror.

"Let's go!" Gollum began to walk away, but Smeagol began to pull back. One watching would have thought the creature was going crazy, as he was. What a pitiful creature he looked right now! Mad with the silence he had endured; mad with each day he had spent in exile. Gollum prevailed, and soon he was across the lake that surrounded his islet.

Not a moment too soon, apparently. The goblins were already out searching for him. "Come get us, goblinses!" taunted Gollum, and he laughed with delight as they quickly looked around, bewildered. "What's the matter? Can't sees us?" _Gollum! Gollum!_ "Come on!"

"Who goes there?" called the head goblin as he called his company to a halt with the slide of his hand.

"Why, it's your 'Mysterious Prowler,'" Gollum stated, holding back a snicker. "Can't you recognize us? We're over here – over here by the cave wall."

"'Us'? 'We'? There's two of you?"

"No, one of us. Come get us! We're over here by the cave wall to your left."

"It must be some kind of trick, Ogloth."

"You two!" Two goblins near the middle of the company looked up. They were always referred to as "you two."

"Yes?"

"Go search the cave wall," Ogloth commanded.

"Too late!" Gollum called, laughing as he darted to the other side of the cave. Something happened then that Gollum did not realize in the midst of his fun. The Ring slid off and betrayed him. Its master's power was growing, It could feel it, and It wanted to go back. Perhaps one of these nasty creatures could carry it for a while. That Gollum was not going out anytime in the near future. The two goblins in pursuit caught a glimpse of him and began to chase after him. Gollum could not understand how they were following him so closely, but it was too close for comfort. Quick as a shadow, he disappeared under a crevice before the two pursuers could see him do so. The two rushed back to their company, afraid they could be next on the "Mysterious Prowler's" list.

"We couldn't find him, Ogloth."

"Stag, Grimloth, get them. The rest of you, prepare the stake."

"No!" Gollum heard the two pursuers yell, and at last he felt safe enough to come out when he heard them march away from him. He would come out in a few hours time.

Riddles in the Dark

Gollum quickly rowed back to his islet. He would still get that Baggins even if he could not guess what was in its pocket. "What's in its pocket?" Smeagol whispered on the way back, but Gollum was unusually quiet. Only one thing was on his mind – that of getting his without having to go back near the goblins. Therefore, he was quite desperate to get his Precious and then get back.

"NOOOOO!" Bilbo heard Gollum shriek as he rushed towards the exit. "Its gone!" _Hiss! Gollum! Gollum!_

"Where is She?" wailed Smeagol.

"Quiet! We've lost our meal!" Gollum ran about the islet looking, pawing in the dirt even, to find his Precious.

"Where is She? She left us!" Smeagol moaned. "She's gone."

"Quiet, Precious. We'll find Her!"

"The Precious is gone!" Smeagol cried. "She left us just like the other hobbits. Just like them, just like them!" Smeagol began to cry.

"Stop it, simpleton! Be quiet, so I can find Her. She's somewhere."

"She left us! She left usss! You said we'd be safe if we listened to you! You said we'd keep her safe if we came with you! Stupid!" Smeagol was angry. Why had he been so foolish as to listen to that Gollum? Gollum was mean and spiteful, everything Smeagol had not been.

Gollum glared. "What did you say?"

"Stupid! Foolish! Senseless!"

"Quiet! You's the foolish one. You killed him; _you_ killed him, not I!"

A remorseful look crept into Smeagol's eyes as he sat there. "She killed him!"

"No, you did! You and your desire for Her! The Precious and I kept us alive. If it weren't for me, you'd be dead, too. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have ran."

"She left us!"

"But did I?"

Smeagol shrunk back. "No!"

"I'll never leave us, precious. Never." Gollum smiled perniciously.

"Leave us!"

"No!" Gollum protested. He would not let that weakling win.

"Leave us and never return! We cans go back if you's gone. Leave us!"

"No, they would not let you back in. You killed Deagol! They always liked him better than uss, Precious. Theys not going to let uss come back."

"You're right, so sorry." Smeagol sank back regretfully. He had lost again. He could never get rid of Gollum. He could never go back. He could never hear his mother's voice or his own name. He would never see friends. He would be alone, desperate for love, happiness, and all other things that were void in his life now away from all others. He would live alone in despair.


End file.
